It’s not uncommon for divorcing parents to say “we don’t want either one of us to pay child support, we will just each support the children.”

It’s no surprise that people want to save on legal fees. For years, lawyers have billed clients on an hourly basis, providing complicated bills at the end of the month.

As attorneys we don’t receive training in emotional intelligence, empathy or most especially grief. Yet after being a family law attorney for over thirty five years,I’ve come to realize grief is something I see every day in my work with divorcing families.

Even knowing that all of divorce is difficult), I’d have to say that writing your divorce story is the most difficult step of the process. This is particularly true if you don’t want the divorce, or you feel like the divorce isn’t your fault. But writing your story is the key to moving your life forward. Here are key steps to take.

There are many nuances to alimony and after being a practicing attorney for many years I’ve negotiated alimony awards in as many ways as you can think of. Here are some principles to keep in mind when contemplating spousal support (alimony) in a divorce.

Being compassionate doesn’t mean that you “just go along” to keep the peace. It means you move forward with an attitude that doesn’t inflict more hurt onto yourself or your spouse. Research shows that when we receive compassion it inspires us to be our highest selves.

Traditionally, family lawyers have been surgeons dismantling marriages with a scalpel of skilled advocacy in a courtroom, mediation or collaborative four way meeting. Until now family lawyers, and lawyers in general, have overlooked our role as a resource for another option: marriage preservation.

No family expects divorce, but if one parent is planning to be a stay–at-home parent there are important things to consider to avoid devastating consequences if it does happen.

One of the most beautiful gifts my ex husband FP ever gave me was introducing me to the poem Ithaka by Greek poet Constantine Cavafy. Little did I know how much that poem would help me through my healing post-divorce.

The most important advice I can give to those involved with divorce is choose happiness.